Why would a 67-year-old woman enjoying the prospect of retirement after many years of work agree to accept custody of a 2-year-old and a 5-year-old grandchild whose parents are incarcerated? Why would a 55-year-old receptionist agree to raise the 3- and 4-month-old babies of two daughters on drugs? It defies logic.

Every day social workers and other human service professionals working with families encounter cases they don’t understand. Grandparent and kinship caregiver cases seem to challenge the logic of what social workers have been taught about families, life stages, and human behavior. The inability to understand why some grandparents accept the responsibility for parenting grandchildren at a time much beyond their parenting years can serve as an obstacle in effective intervention with these individuals.

When social workers use rationality alone to determine whether a grandparent egiver might be a likely candidate for taking care of a child, they may find themselves assessing a number of criteria. Typically, economic status, health, mental health, age, and family status are considered. However, grandparent caregiving is not always a result of rational decision making. It is the by-product of family connection, generational patterns, and a “matter of the heart.” This article does not suggest that grandparent caregivers should not be screened. Indeed, a growing body of evidence suggests there may be generational patterns of family violence (Bengston, 1991).

The decision to reenter the parenting world when your peers and friends are exiting this role is difficult. I remember observing grandparent caregiving when I was a child spending summers in a rural community. It seemed that suddenly a child would appear in my aunt’s home and be introduced as a “cousin.” These were the “children of the family.”; they lived with their grandparents or other relative caregivers. Although they never lived with their parents, they were often introduced as “Debra’s daughter or son.” There were no extensive explanations about the circumstances of the parenting switch…everyone simply acknowledged that it had occurred. There were no formal legal arrangements such as adoptions or foster care. These children were accepted and cared for as members of the family, and that was that!

Grandparent caregiving is not only a matter of the heart, it is a family affair. At the root of the issue is a family who is committed to take care of each other. This commitment seems to override convenience, the ability to provide resources at a high level, and reason. The wayward parent, although often involved in substance abuse or in jail, is still acknowledged as a member of the family. As such, the child also becomes eligible for the care and the attention of the family at large.

I will never let a grandbaby of mine be taken care of by the State. That is a family responsibility (from a grandparent caregiver).

The hardships associated with the grandparent caregiving experience often include loss of designated senior housing, insufficient finances, extreme behavior problems, and conflict with natural parents. These hardships, however, are considered in comparison to other personal values that may be of greater importance. Those values include commitment to family and perceived responsibility to take care of family, no matter the circumstances. Convenience, sufficiency of resources, and time challenges are obstacles to be overcome.

When social workers fail to understand the primacy of family and commitment in working with grandparent caregivers, they may lose sight of the positives that have the potential to help a child. It might also lead to decisions that are  not in the best interest of the child. Is family relationship the only criterion for such decisions? Of course not, but social work professionals must not ignore the intrinsic value and commitment of grandparent caregivers fighting to keep a perceived commitment to family.

Policy makers and advocates must also understand the power of family and commitment to grandparent caregiving in constructing kinship care policies. A number of states have laws that require that grandparent caregivers go to court to terminate the parental right of the child’s parents as a criterion for receiving certain benefits from the state. Many social workers are completely perplexed by the lack of willingness of these sometimes extremely needy grandparents to do this, even though it means loss of resources. The professional has to understand that although the adult child is a drug addict, HIV positive, or in jail, they are still family. This kind of policy is often viewed as an assault against the child’s parents, and isn't acceptable to grandparents who have unfailing hope that one day their adult child will be able to resume their role of parent and caregiver. Policies that force grandparent caregivers into this dilemma are often not in the best interest of the child.

How is it that many grandparents have such a strong commitment to the care of children in the family, when their parents may not? Obviously there are many factors. One of the strongest factors is a cohort factor. Middle-aged and older adults age 50 and over were often socialized to a different notion of family. Families take care of each other. This responsibility was commonly taught in families. Because it characterized many individuals who lived during this period of time, it is called a cohort factor.

This term is very important because it reflects generational differences. Families today are being socialized with more of an orientation toward taking care of oneself. Governmental and social services are commonly viewed as resources available to meet family-member needs. This cohort factor represents the perspectives of many who are 35 and under. This concept is reflected below.

“A local non profit group focused its efforts in helping the children of a low income housing unit have access to college. Under normal circumstances these children would not be able to attend college. Through the efforts of this organization, they had managed to send 6 students to a college. They noticed that when they were soliciting students who might be interested in going to college, only grandparents were supportive of this opportunity and recognized it as such. The mothers of these students were disparaging and did not see the value of an education. "Grandparents were extremely supportive and challenged the students to remain at college and do well. Parents of the students often encouraged the students to give up and come home.” (Comment from staff of the Chantilly Mews Higher Education Project)

We see a marked generational difference in this real-life scenario. Older grandparents were taught that education was important to having a good life. Although they themselves had not been able to take advantage of education, they wanted their grandchildren to seize the opportunity. Education was only available to a few, and it was treasured by older adults. The parents of the students were more likely to have been raised not valuing education. Education was readily available to their generation. It was something that most people have available to them, and therefore not particularly treasured.

The conclusion that might be drawn is that  some values among the generation of middle-aged and older adults 50 and over have not necessarily persisted in younger generations. The willingness of grandparent caregivers to take care of their family members may not extend into the generations to come. We may find that, with a different perspective on family, there will be less willingness to participate in caregiving and more of an expectation that governmental systems will handle this role.

For now, however, it is important to understand that grandparent caregiving is often based upon a set of values that place family above other realities. What are the implications for social workers?

First, social work professionals must understand that cohort factors are unique to specific generations. The cohort factors that lead to grandparent caregiving regardless of the personal sacrifice and commitment required may not exist in the generations of individuals 35 and under. We should be prepared  to see diminishing  kinship care resources to assist in taking care of children

Second, social workers should be prepared to advocate at a local, state, and national level to ensure that grandparent caregivers are provided the resources and supports that allow them to undertake this “heart” endeavor. Children benefit from being connected to family and having an identity that goes beyond name. Hundreds of years of informal caregiving of children within the family has established this reality. Policies that force grandparent caregivers to choose between their adult children and their grandchildren may not be in the best interest of the child.

Last, an age-old bias against older adults parenting young children should be challenged. Older adults may bring many positives into the lives of children who have been wounded and cast aside by life. Older adults as foster parents of nonrelative or relative children often provide a stability and years of parenting experience that may be much needed by traumatized children. Social workers must ensure that biases against aging do not color judgments regarding the identification of the best kinship caregivers to the child. The coming demographic changes for millions of baby boomers may provide a wealth of older-adult caregivers in families that can support the lives of children.

Social workers should mobilize to take advantage of this great resource.

Without this consideration, our ability to help is thwarted.

References

Bengston, V. C. (1991). Intergenerational solidarity and aging families: An example of formal theory construction. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 53, 856–870.